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It’s a big world out there, and you just might wonder: is it as cr@ppy for everyone else as it is for me? Ask yourself no more, we are here to show you. This site will provide a snapshot of the world at its cr@ppiest. You may even decide you haven’t got it that bad after all.

Good old goody two-shoes

November 16, 2009

in People

Today I realize I have been too good all my life. I am scared of upsetting people. Since I was little girl I have been this scaree, and do everything tom make everyone else happy – even if it makes me miserable. Now I am too old (37) to change. Life is boring…MLIC

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Study much?

November 16, 2009

in School

Today I will post my feelings about two lovely ladies named Elizabeth, no not the queen – for Elizabeth is much more elegant, presentable, and regal, and Fiona, no not Shrek’s wife for she is much too gorgeous and excellent for an ogre, who are the lights of my dark and weary life. They are the grapes to my vines. They are the apples in my pie. They are the straw in my drink. They are the gator in Gatorade. They are the foot in football for without foot it would just be BALL and nobody likes plain balls. They are the quintessential, epitome of kindness and lady-like characteristics. They are the best. I must also mention Nina. Oh what an inspiration she is in my life! Musically and scholastically talented, she is the guide to my tour (idk). But alas, fellow MyLifeIsCrappers, because this blog is about crappy life I find it appropriate to end with a negative comment. I am sitting next to Jeri…MLIC

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Well, it is true

November 16, 2009

in Friends

Today, I told my best friend I nearly killed myself, to which she replied, “Muppets would look weird in drag.”…MLIC

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Alway sucking on the hind teat

November 16, 2009

in Sex

Today, besides being an incurable drunk, I have a crazy crush on my sister’s girlfriend who is a complete slut when she drinks. We’ve only hooked up when we are both drunk – but she still hooks up with other guys. I take my leftovers and dream of making her mine…MLIC

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YLIC and MLIC

November 16, 2009

in People

Today I’m sitting in Civics class and of course it’s boring as crap so I’m on MLIC and I think it’s pretty crappy how people feel sorry for themselves like this. GET OVER IT. Life’s good. now matter how crappy you think it is. I think it’s kinda crappy how people let stupid little things bother them and they don’t believe in God because of it when there are starving people in poverty and 3rd world countries that are getting killed for no reason but hatred, and those people still turn to God. So come on people. Turn to God. Stop complaining…MLIC

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Can’t accomplish anything

November 16, 2009

in People

Today, I realized what is wrong with me. I have adult ADD. All of my kids are in school now so, I can’t blame a dirty house on them. No one is here to distract me and I still can’t get the house clean. Maybe posting this will help someone else get help too…MLIC

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Today was my birthday and 1) my best friend called to tell me I am a loser, 2) the 17 year old guy I have been hanging out with for the past two weeks is now hooking up with my 13 year old cousin, and 3) my dog died on my bed this morning…MLIC

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My hopeless existence

November 10, 2009

in People

Today I live a life that is so unbearably awful that I can find no other way to go on but to leave it behind. I see no rainbow or sunshine after the storm. I am forced to work for, and with, people who are not worthy to be considered as human, yet I am forced to bow down to them, as if they are my betters. I am stuck in a position I can see no way out from. My life has been one screw up after another. I do not sleep at night as I know that I will wake up the next day to my agonizingly awful existence. I have now come to realize that there will never be a fairytale ending to my life. Everyday I see worthless morons having fantastic lives and I realize these people are less than human and not worthy of the riches and adulation they receive, yet they have such a fantastic life which leaves me wondering why my existence is so terrible and what I have done to deserve the hand I am dealt. I am now at an age that it is impossible to reverse my terrible existence and even though I realize this I can not come to terms with it, I have no way out of this hell. I can only hope that there is nothing beyond this mortal coil as the thought of another tormented existence is too much to bear. I need it all to stop…MLIC

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Today I decided to try to cheer up my work friends with a song. You’re supposed to use a specific code to call out overhead to my department (PA system-style) – but apparently there is a secret code that will let you call out over the entire building. Guess who sang a song intended for her coworkers and, thanks to Technology Gods that are Always Angry With Me, I ended up having it broadcast all over the building instead? By the way it was late. Reaaaaally late. By the way I work at a hospital. Fired? You betcha. The kicker is: after I was done with the ditty, I hung up the phone, turned to the people I was working with and said “yeah…I’m totally not quitting my day job!”…MLIC

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My manifesto

November 10, 2009

in School

Today I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jay. I am a regular 16 year old boy who attends a normal high school. As insignificant of a life I may live, I must tell of a situation in which I am slowly suffering from. Jeri is her name. No, this is not about love or any optimistic emotion. It is about anger and hatred towards me, an innocent boy. Everyday she ignores the fact that I have emotions as well. I fear that she may strike my weak and defenseless body. I cower in fear as she glares at me with burning eyes. I am so sad that even my tears are crying. My blood ceases as she insults me again and again. Just recently she took violent, physical actions to display her aggressive nature. I swear I was a dead man. I was swimming in my own fear, in my own pain. Death may be the better choice in this terrible life under the femine oppressor, Jeri. Yes, maybe I am a pussy but what can I do? I am scared. I have no strength to fight back this injustice. Her friend Jamilla is no better. She continues to tell me I will obtain “asian cookies”. How offensive. Fellow MyLifeIsCrap users, accept my plea of help. Help me. I cannot even sleep at night because I am afraid of having a nightmare. My nightmares consist of dying, crying, bleeding, and pain, pain, pain. Jamilla tells me I need purple highlights. They only find the faults within my normal physical features. How pitiful of a life I am living, am I not? Fellow users, feel my pain. Live it with me. They call it “a form of love” but what a lie. I am living under a socialistic, school life. Terrible. Just terrible my friends…MLIC

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